Have you all noticed that no matter what you do, there seems to be something to feel guilty about, IF you let the guilt monster creep in? I've been slacking a bit lately at my SAHM gig. I've been stressed out about family matters - the death of my grandfather and the looming deployment of my husband. Two men that mean so much to me leaving me in one sense or another. One in a more permanent way than the other and one having a more obvious day-to-day impact on my life than the other. I've allowed the stress of these two items to cloud my mind and keep me from putting in the effort I had planned to put into my SAHM work.
Last night I told my husband that I was feeling guilty that I hadn't done much with the girls this week - like REALLY guilty. And I felt even more guilty that it had taken me almost a whole week to realize that I wasn't doing much with them. I felt like I had let the girls down, my husband down, myself down, and anyone who believed my prior blog posts about "committing to this as a full time job" down. I looked on Facebook and saw that a friend of mine had done not one but several awesome Earth Day activities with her kids. I had done nothing!! I had not acknowledged Earth Day at all in my SAHM role. What was wrong with me?!?! As a side note, in case the person who posted those awesome activities reads this, I know that you didn't post them with any intention of causing anyone any mommy guilt, as I know you are a super supportive mom friend!!
My husband's response to my guilt was that it was understandable for anyone to have short periods of time when things weren't as they had planned them to be. The girls were still having fun, they were totally fine, and really it had only been a few days that I hadn't gone all out with the activities. And he reminded me that I hadn't done "nothing" with them. I took them to the library, I read with them, I made them healthy meals. I had a lot going on emotionally that I was thinking about and some other areas had to give a bit. That's not the end of the world.
At first I was annoyed with his response. I felt like he was making an excuse for me and I hate excuses (and he knows that). But then I took a moment to think about it from the outside. If someone else was dealing with some things emotionally and they didn't plan a curriculum of activities for their preschooler and toddler for a week or so, would I think they were terrible? Of course not. So I set my guilt aside - because letting guilt in is a slippery negative slope. Guilt can erode your self image and then you become more likely to wallow in the negativity. So I gave myself a pass for the past week and I gave myself a pass to take it somewhat easy the rest of this week. So today we did one craft and one sensory fun activity. No heavy learning stuff. I just didn't have it in me to prepare anything, so we're not doing anything major today. And that's OK. Next week we will get back on track.
So I will leave you with this - to any mom's out there feeling guilty, give yourself a pass for what has already happened and move on. No one can be on their "A game" at all times. Pick yourself up, dust yourself off and come up with something fun to do tomorrow!!! The Guilt Monster will just drag you down, so tell him to butt out. If you need a little help coming up with some things to do while you're feeling down, here is a website with some easy activities and printables!
Thanks for reading and have a great rest of your week.
Last night I told my husband that I was feeling guilty that I hadn't done much with the girls this week - like REALLY guilty. And I felt even more guilty that it had taken me almost a whole week to realize that I wasn't doing much with them. I felt like I had let the girls down, my husband down, myself down, and anyone who believed my prior blog posts about "committing to this as a full time job" down. I looked on Facebook and saw that a friend of mine had done not one but several awesome Earth Day activities with her kids. I had done nothing!! I had not acknowledged Earth Day at all in my SAHM role. What was wrong with me?!?! As a side note, in case the person who posted those awesome activities reads this, I know that you didn't post them with any intention of causing anyone any mommy guilt, as I know you are a super supportive mom friend!!
My husband's response to my guilt was that it was understandable for anyone to have short periods of time when things weren't as they had planned them to be. The girls were still having fun, they were totally fine, and really it had only been a few days that I hadn't gone all out with the activities. And he reminded me that I hadn't done "nothing" with them. I took them to the library, I read with them, I made them healthy meals. I had a lot going on emotionally that I was thinking about and some other areas had to give a bit. That's not the end of the world.
At first I was annoyed with his response. I felt like he was making an excuse for me and I hate excuses (and he knows that). But then I took a moment to think about it from the outside. If someone else was dealing with some things emotionally and they didn't plan a curriculum of activities for their preschooler and toddler for a week or so, would I think they were terrible? Of course not. So I set my guilt aside - because letting guilt in is a slippery negative slope. Guilt can erode your self image and then you become more likely to wallow in the negativity. So I gave myself a pass for the past week and I gave myself a pass to take it somewhat easy the rest of this week. So today we did one craft and one sensory fun activity. No heavy learning stuff. I just didn't have it in me to prepare anything, so we're not doing anything major today. And that's OK. Next week we will get back on track.
So I will leave you with this - to any mom's out there feeling guilty, give yourself a pass for what has already happened and move on. No one can be on their "A game" at all times. Pick yourself up, dust yourself off and come up with something fun to do tomorrow!!! The Guilt Monster will just drag you down, so tell him to butt out. If you need a little help coming up with some things to do while you're feeling down, here is a website with some easy activities and printables!
Thanks for reading and have a great rest of your week.